For Men: Signals You May Be a Victim of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

binary-715831Men are often overlooked as victims of abuse, but the numbers are indeed alarming. It is estimated that as many as 48% of the victims of emotional abuse are male. Continue reading For Men: Signals You May Be a Victim of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Can Sociopathic Relationships Last?

The men’s self-help and advice site, Geeks and Jocks has an excellent video to help men realize that they are in a relationship with a Sociopath. Despite a few typos or grammar items, it is a good encapsulation of the information provided by a vast number of resources. The presentation also includes information from their online post Living with a Sociopath is Not Easy.

Sadly, getting through to someone that they are in a dangerous and, in the long term, a hopeless relationship is extremely difficult. Many men are too stubborn and/or victimized to see it until it is too late and their life is in tatters. As we have seen repeated throughout mental health journals, post by medical professionals, and a multitude of other sources, there is currently no treatment or cure for sociopathy.

Males as Victims of Emotional Abuse

Woman beating man with stickOver at HealthyPlace.com, Natasha Tracy has a great post on how males are victims too and often overlooked due to the social stigma associated with it. In fact, she points out that some males may not even realize they are victims. Something I really like about the articles at Healthyplace.com is that most list the reference materials used as a basis for the posts.

Emotional abuse of men is common but most men won’t admit to being a victim of emotional abuse, especially those in the military or law enforcement. Continue reading Males as Victims of Emotional Abuse

Men Can Be Emotionally Abused Too

man at a desk

A victim of emotional abuse may not even recognize their situation as abusive. They tend to use denial, minimization, and make excuses to deal with the stress and anguish they feel.  While children are most often the victims of an emotionally abusive parent, men are not immune. In fact, men are resistant to seeking help as they may see it as a weakness or failing. News alert — it isn’t either of those things.

The first step for those being emotionally abused is recognizing it’s happening. If you recognize any of the signs of emotional abuse in your relationship, you need to be honest with yourself so you can regain power over your own life, stop the abuse, and begin to heal. For those who’ve been minimizing, denying, and hiding the abuse, this can be a painful and frightening first step. Here are just a few of the warning signs that Barrie Davenport covers in an excellent piece over at the LIVEBOLD&BLOOM.com site. In a post titled “30 Signs Of Emotional Abuse In A Relationship”, they cover a number of things that you should be aware of for yourself and to recognize in others.

1. They humiliate you, put you down, or make fun of you in front of other people.

2. They regularly demean or disregard your opinions, ideas, suggestions, or needs.

3. They use sarcasm or “teasing” to put you down or make you feel bad about yourself.

5. They try to control you and treat you like a child.

6. They correct or chastise you for your behavior.

7. They make you feel like you need permission to make decisions or go out somewhere.

9. They belittle and trivialize you, your accomplishments, or your hopes and dreams.

16. They make excuses for their behavior, try to blame you or others, and have difficulty apologizing.

18. They blame you for their problems, life difficulties, or unhappiness.

21. They resort to pouting or withdrawal to get attention or attain what they want.

23. They play the victim and try to deflect blame to you rather than taking personal responsibility.

29. They invalidate or deny their emotionally abusive behavior when confronted.

30. They make subtle threats or negative remarks with the intent to frighten or control you.

In addition, here are some of other items from well-respected sources to add to what BarrieDavenport has included:

  • They will use the children to further manipulate and coerce you.
  • They will use threats of self-harm or suicide to create guilt.
  • They spend money on frivolous things, while you sacrifice, to show they control you.
  • They call you or the children names, give you unpleasant labels, or make cutting remarks under their breath.
  • They are promiscuous or adulterous with others.
  • They will claim to have experienced some trauma, such as rape, incest, or physical abuse, to gain your sympathy.
  • They will use loving words one moment, then insult you the next. This is not their problem, they are doing it specifically to break you down and control you.

(Based on material from Live Bold and Bloom http://liveboldandbloom.com)

Getting Help for Emotional Abuse

Stop Abuse Purple Ribbon

Emotional and psychological abuse is a serious issue. Many men, especially some in the military or law enforcement, may not even recognize they are victims of their spouse’s abuse. This happens often when kids are involved and they are frequently used as the pawns that One spouse will use against the other. Men are the most common victims but are often afraid or resistant to admit it due to social stigmas.

It is common for the female abuser to be a serial adulterer, financially irresponsible, negligent in the home and with the kids, and usually non-working (as they manipulate the spouse so they can live an easier life). Frequently, there will be threats of hurting themselves and possibly even failed attempts. These are used to further manipulate the victim into a position of vulnerability.

As research has shown, the abuser is generally a Sociopath. There is no cure for this; no treatments or drugs can help.

Over at the LeavingAbuse blog, they have a wealth of information for people who may be victims of physical or emotional abuse. Their Emotional Abuse Help Guide is especially informative and deserves your attention.

Here are some important points they cover in the Help Guide:

  • Emotional abuse (also called psychological abuse) is all too often seen as less important or less serious than physical abuse.
  • Emotional abusers frequently use their abuse to isolate the victim from family and friends, the effects of the abuse deepen as the support network disappears.
  • A child who has been emotionally abused or seen another family member abused is at greater risk of being a victim of emotional abuse in later life.
  • Emotional abuse is about one person trying to control another.
  • Men can be the victims of emotional abuse just as can women.
  • Emotional abuse can have serious, long term effects.
  • Emotional abuse attacks and destroys a person’s self confidence and core beliefs.

If you even suspect that you, or someone you know, is a victim of emotional abuse, you owe it to yourself and them to read and share this Emotional Abuse Help Guide.