It is NOT about a specific individual

Silhouettes of people

I received some feedback recently that was a bit unsettling, so I want to clear up the misunderstanding. The posts on this blog are not about a single person or individual. They are about the traits, methods, and dangers that Sociopaths present and how they can control and ruin your life or those you know or care about. It is about recognizing the problem and getting help. It is about helping those who cannot see it for themselves. The Sociopath or victims can be almost anyone. To date, there is indeed some focus on female sociopaths. That is because I find them inherently more dangerous as they are often the caregivers in a family situation while also being the most underestimated and least acknowledged. Their victims are usually men, who are predisposed to not come forward as society will often view it as a sign of weakness.

When I undertook my initial research, I found the Blog-o-sphere was full of posts and articles on the subject. However, not all were useful or based on professional research and experience. After discussing it with an acquaintance that is a well-known mental health professional, I made a decision. I was going to go through the materials I find, vet them for being based on an appropriate level of research or experience-based background, and then recap or combine them into something more easily found and digestible. In each post on this blog, you will find links back to the original material. I have added no new points or information as I am not a mental-health or medical professional, although I have sometimes used different phrases or words to add clarity in places. I do have 10+ years in an organization that does provide such services, so I am well-informed.

So, let me say this one more time so it is perfectly clear.

These posts are not about one specific person.

As you read the posts, if you do have someone specific come to mind, someone you know that may perfectly fit into what you have read, then in all likelihood that person is indeed a Sociopath as the Duck Test of adbuctive reasoning shows.

If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.

In that situation,  this blog has served its main purpose in helping you identify that. But remember that you cannot diagnose someone from merely reading blog posts. It is up to a competent and knowledgeable mental health professional with the education and background to do it properly.

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Mothers as Sociopaths

Scared girl
Photo by LMAP

What do you do when a parent has no moral compass, is deceitful, lacks remorse for wrongdoing, and lies constantly? What happens to the children? This is the challenge when a parent is also a Sociopath.

As a general rule, Sociopaths are sneaky, dishonest, and manipulative. Their lives and motives center around themselves. The do not have spouses and children, they have victims and objects they use to forward their own goals and desires. Despite the popularization of Sociopaths in entertainment media as criminals, it is important to realize that not all Sociopaths necessarily break the law. Although, they may be guilty of charges of neglect, fraud, and perjury. Continue reading Mothers as Sociopaths

The Red Flags of a Psychopath

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Photo by Rutger van Waveren

“You’ll believe it’s the best thing that ever happened to you, so you won’t even suspect you’re being played.” If you know someone that is in a bad relationship yet says this anyway, that is a HUGE warning sign that they are already in the clutches of a Sociopath/Psychopath. [Note: Sociopaths and Psychopaths are mostly an artificial distinction, they are essentially the same in many ways, though science continues to identify traits that may eventually lead to them being separate diagnoses.]

I have heard privately from so many people in the last week about these posts. People have said that the articles read like the biography of someone they know, fitting them perfectly. Most of the people don’t know each other, yet still point at the same person. It is sad that their victim(s) still cannot see it. It is sadder yet that young children are involved.

This is FACT, not fiction. Continue reading The Red Flags of a Psychopath

Are Sociopaths and Psychopaths Different?

Mentalillness

According to the 5th Edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, also known as DSM-5, released by the American Psychiatric Association, both sociopathy and psychopathy are Antisocial Personality Disorders, or an AsPD. They have a lot in common and are frequently used interchangeably, but there is some argument that they are clearly separate and disctinct.

Scott A. Bonn Ph.D. has an article over at Psychology Today that breaks down some of the differences between the two diagnoses. The most interesting point I found in his piece is the assertion that psychopathy is largely the result of genetics while sociopathy is more likely the result of the person’s childhood environment and experiences. In essence, it is “nature” versus “nurture”. This is not consistent with other professionals and is most definitely not yet a formal position of the mental health profession.

Regardless of how the disorder came about in patients, he puts forth that both sociopaths and psychopaths have these traits in common:

  • A disregard for laws and social mores
  • A disregard for the rights of others
  • A failure to feel remorse or guilt
  • A tendency to display violent behavior

Recognizing The Female Sociopath

Scary female in clown makeup
Beware — this is a serious issue, especially when children are involved. Young men, specifically those in mid-20’s are especially at risk. Keep in mind, THERE IS NO CURE, NO TREATMENT, AND NO DRUGS TO FIX THIS. NONE.

The blog over at Sociopath Hell has a number of great articles. One that jumped out at me is Female Sociopath.

In her post, she describes how most statistics regarding Sociopaths and the breakdown of male vs female are, at best, guesses. Continue reading Recognizing The Female Sociopath

Males as Victims of Emotional Abuse

Woman beating man with stickOver at HealthyPlace.com, Natasha Tracy has a great post on how males are victims too and often overlooked due to the social stigma associated with it. In fact, she points out that some males may not even realize they are victims. Something I really like about the articles at Healthyplace.com is that most list the reference materials used as a basis for the posts.

Emotional abuse of men is common but most men won’t admit to being a victim of emotional abuse, especially those in the military or law enforcement. Continue reading Males as Victims of Emotional Abuse

Men Can Be Emotionally Abused Too

man at a desk

A victim of emotional abuse may not even recognize their situation as abusive. They tend to use denial, minimization, and make excuses to deal with the stress and anguish they feel.  While children are most often the victims of an emotionally abusive parent, men are not immune. In fact, men are resistant to seeking help as they may see it as a weakness or failing. News alert — it isn’t either of those things.

The first step for those being emotionally abused is recognizing it’s happening. If you recognize any of the signs of emotional abuse in your relationship, you need to be honest with yourself so you can regain power over your own life, stop the abuse, and begin to heal. For those who’ve been minimizing, denying, and hiding the abuse, this can be a painful and frightening first step. Here are just a few of the warning signs that Barrie Davenport covers in an excellent piece over at the LIVEBOLD&BLOOM.com site. In a post titled “30 Signs Of Emotional Abuse In A Relationship”, they cover a number of things that you should be aware of for yourself and to recognize in others.

1. They humiliate you, put you down, or make fun of you in front of other people.

2. They regularly demean or disregard your opinions, ideas, suggestions, or needs.

3. They use sarcasm or “teasing” to put you down or make you feel bad about yourself.

5. They try to control you and treat you like a child.

6. They correct or chastise you for your behavior.

7. They make you feel like you need permission to make decisions or go out somewhere.

9. They belittle and trivialize you, your accomplishments, or your hopes and dreams.

16. They make excuses for their behavior, try to blame you or others, and have difficulty apologizing.

18. They blame you for their problems, life difficulties, or unhappiness.

21. They resort to pouting or withdrawal to get attention or attain what they want.

23. They play the victim and try to deflect blame to you rather than taking personal responsibility.

29. They invalidate or deny their emotionally abusive behavior when confronted.

30. They make subtle threats or negative remarks with the intent to frighten or control you.

In addition, here are some of other items from well-respected sources to add to what BarrieDavenport has included:

  • They will use the children to further manipulate and coerce you.
  • They will use threats of self-harm or suicide to create guilt.
  • They spend money on frivolous things, while you sacrifice, to show they control you.
  • They call you or the children names, give you unpleasant labels, or make cutting remarks under their breath.
  • They are promiscuous or adulterous with others.
  • They will claim to have experienced some trauma, such as rape, incest, or physical abuse, to gain your sympathy.
  • They will use loving words one moment, then insult you the next. This is not their problem, they are doing it specifically to break you down and control you.

(Based on material from Live Bold and Bloom http://liveboldandbloom.com)